Book review: The DDP Guide to Healing Childhood Trauma
By Kim S. Golding and Illustrated by Juliet Young.
Reviewed by Hannah Foxcroft, Deputy Chief Executive, NAFP
It was in 2015 that I first came across DDP, with some trepidation as I drove to Milton Keynes to join a three day DDP (Dyadic developmental Practice) level 1 workshop facilitated by Kim Golding. It was an unknown concept to me, and I was a little cynical because colleagues already trained in the model described it as revolutionary in work with children in care. Bold statements indeed. But for three days I sat mesmerised by Kim Golding as she introduced DDP as a way of healing relational trauma in children. Her exceptional knowledge and skill with a gentle supportive approach guiding us through PACE (playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy) as a way of being rather than an intervention, made sense. It also meant that at some point at the end of the course I even volunteered to be in a role play – unheard of, and never again!
Picking up The DDP Guide to Healing Childhood Trauma, was like being back in that training room. Kim Golding is the same knowledgeable, skilled and gentle supportive guide as an author as she is as a trainer. She writes directly to the reader in a familiar warm and PACEful way. Of all the DDP literature I have read, this book, feels the most relatable and easy to read, as she provides support and guidance for parenting and parenting support, with a final section on DDP in therapy.
Kim’s familiar use of story telling, as she explains, integral to the principles of DDP, and use of metaphors really helps me to fully appreciate the concepts whilst also providing lived examples that we may use either in our practice or in our parenting.
Describing PACE as an anchor, she asks in a moment of reflection ‘what supplies do you put in your boat? What strengthens you anchor’ and it made me stop reading and take a moment to collect my thoughts (and find some chocolate!). Whether we are practitioners, managers, foster carers or parents, it’s critical to know what we need to anchor ourselves. As an aside, I relished the moments in the book that made me stop and think, and the layout of little boxes with reflective questions, gave permission to do just that. It’s a great book to dip in and out of.
I suppose the book does what it says on the tin, ‘a visual and creative companion for parents and practitioners’. I thought how useful it would be to discuss a chapter or theme in a team meeting, with great questions that could be prompts in group supervision or training. I loved the power of her short stories and when I used to facilitate foster carer training we would often finish a session with one of Kim’s stories, to conclude a session and now there is a book of them!
The practical nature of the book meant that I really feel its value in supporting foster carers both in the here and now, and in the longer term. I remember those scary late at night calls as an out of hours manager when a foster carer calls, depleted having managed an evening of challenge. Kim calls it out well ‘At these moments it feels as if you are the worst parent in the world, and your child is the most difficult’, I suppose that is accepting what many of us feel, and she goes onto explain, it the time when a foster carer needs distance to calm and ironically the child, who likely experienced relationship trauma needs the most needs closeness. She guides us through the feelings and emotions that go through such a crisis.
There is an aptly named chapter, which I think many a foster carer will nod in appreciation of, called ‘Don’t tell Me What to Do. If it Were That Easy, I Would Have Done It’. She emphasises support rather than solutions, for us to slow down, so we can understand and explore, and things become sharper in focus, and that is what this book has done for me. It slowed me down and as such I have much more clarity about how DDP and PACE can benefit my work with families.
This is a beautiful illustrated book with blank pages for personal notes and comments. It’s like a guide-cum-workbook and slim enough to be a trusty companion too! It's almost as if you have Kim Golding sitting on your desk just being perfectly PACEful.
