Fostering is about everyday commitment, and having the right support around your family
Janet has been a foster parent for nearly 23 years and has cared for 11 children during that time. Before fostering, Janet had adopted two boys and seen first-hand the powerful, positive impact that a stable, loving home can have on children.
“I saw how fostering could have such a positive effect on children and decided to look into fostering once my boys were in a place that felt right for all of us.”
A typical day starts early.
“I get up at 6.30am, have a quick shower, put some washing on and then go to wake B. I start making breakfast, then go back to wake him again, he’s not always keen on getting up - especially on school days.”
Mornings are spent getting ready for school, making sure everything is in place and driving B to school for 8.20am.
“I check he’s got money on his lunch card, do some paperwork, then go into work at school myself.”
After collecting B at 3pm, the afternoon and evening are filled with snacks, conversations, activities and routines.
“We’ll have a drink and a snack, maybe a quick game of darts, then it’s off to football training. When we get home, I make drinks and snacks, check homework, support him to get a shower, complete my daily log and get to bed about 10.30pm.”
Reflecting on their fostering journey, Janet is clear about the importance of support, and how this shaped her decision to move to an independent fostering agency (IFA).
“The lack of support from the local authority was instrumental in my decision to transfer to an IFA. I was concerned by the attitude of the fostering social worker, who only visited when the children were at school and never checked their bedrooms. I’ve now been with my current IFA for 12 years and have been fantastically supported.”
Through their IFA, Janet has access to 24/7 support from a fostering social worker or another member of staff who knows them, their family and the children they care for.
“I can have open, honest and non-judgemental conversations, and those conversations always have the children at the centre.”
Placement matching is handled carefully, with the carer fully involved in discussions.
“My IFA know me well enough that they will only present placements they feel will be appropriate for us.”
One of the most difficult moments in Janet’s fostering journey came during a divorce, when they discovered how the law views foster children.
“One issue that still stays with me is that a foster child is not considered ‘a child of the family’ in the eyes of the law. My husband’s barrister argued that the children in my care, one who had been with me for eight years and another for six, could simply be returned to Social Services and placed elsewhere. I was horrified.”
Determined to keep the family together, Janet fought to protect the children’s stability and succeeded.
Looking ahead, they believe better outcomes for children depend on greater understanding of trauma and stronger recognition of foster carers as professionals.
“Social workers need more training around the effects of trauma on the developing child, and there also needs to be a cultural shift. Foster parents are often not viewed as professionals, despite knowing the child better than almost anyone else.”
Above all, Janet believes foster carers, and their wider families, deserve recognition for the commitment involved.
“The role the whole fostering family plays in supporting a child in placement needs to be acknowledged.”
Their advice to anyone considering fostering is simple:
“Thoroughly research the opportunity. Speak to foster carers and looked after children to really understand the role”.
