Foster parents care for their children and train them to fight for themselves and what’s important to them
Ruth and Chris became foster parents six years ago and are now mum and dad to three foster children aged 12, 15 and 16.
“We’ve always been drawn to foster care, there are so many children in the world that need a loving home and family. We knew there was something missing in our life. We now feel a sense of fulfilment.
Ruth and Chris see their experience as creating a home and family, rather than as a placement. Both Ruth and Chris have a background in mental health services, which they credit as giving them greater experience of the skills and understanding required to navigate how children’s trauma will impact the rest of their lives.
“Foster children have often experienced things that they never should have as children. Our motto is to drown them in love, it’s not just a job, it’s a way of life. You need a happy medium between quality and a quantity of foster carers, otherwise every time that child is passed on, you’ve made it even harder for that child.”
Through their local IFA service, Ruth and Chris have easy access to a supervising social worker for each child. They also provide mandatory and specialised training, pastoral support and funding for activities and experience tailored to each family’s needs.
“If you ring, you see or speak to them on the same day, rather than waiting two weeks [as opposed to with a local authority]. It’s really personal, nurturing and non-judgmental. Without that package, you’d struggle. Once you start the assessment process, you’re also given a buddy. I’m a buddy now, we’re all carers together, we feel safe talking to one another, it’s really powerful.”
The placement matching team at the IFA service don’t just fill beds, they make sure it’s a proper match.
Ruth and Chris spoke at length about the focus their local IFA service puts on ensuring their family is seen as a unit, even for their child who is no longer in foster care thanks to an SGO (special guardianship order). “Our local service has allowed us to follow our dreams. When we rowed to North Wales, they sponsored us, and the operational manager was at the start line to cheer us on with the kids.”
Ruth and Chris, as part of their therapeutic support, have also been able to work with the same psychologist for six years. They started working with their psychologist at the start of their fostering journey, and having the same named professional build a relationship with them and their children has been a critical part of their support network.
“We meet with him every two weeks; he’s the backbone of us. He knows how our children and our family works, giving us different tools and options to get through.
We’ve received files from LAs on children that we were considering fostering where we couldn’t even tell the gender of the child because their notes were so poor. When we got our 16-year-old that we first fostered as a 10-year-old, the local authority said that we were their last chance…and they were 10! How could we be their last chance?”
