Thoughts from Catherine…
The importance of seeing the children of foster carers - how often, alone and really checking in with them
- Who else should be considered within the fostering family - grandchildren, adult children
- Regular visitors to the home or extended family members living in the home - elderly parents etc - or generations of families in one home
- What are the expectations in relation to assessments, training, supervisions, reviews - and contributions, how you are satisfied that children are safer
- What if a foster carers own child is struggling with being part of a fostering family and their parents want to continue
- What about risks in the home, family dynamics and household safer caring
- Supporting both birth children and fostered children to remain in contact when a placement arrangement comes to an end. Are there lessons to be learned with regards to how IFAs can ensure children are supported to maintain these friendships where these are wanted, meaningful and valued
Other useful discussions in the resource library:
- Nominated support networks - topic based forum
- Assessing partners - good practice guidance
Members' discussion
- How we can develop a meaningful relationship with children of foster carers
- The preparation training is helpful - STF has a carers own children training section and also a booklet
- Can be difficult to progress with if not many children and young people - only have one or two carers being assessed and sometimes no children to involve
- Various children’s groups - some specifically for carers own children and some with fostered children
- We need to reflect on how we can do better - general thoughts in the room is that we don't do it well enough
- Treat carers own children the same and do direct work with them if they are struggling in a fostering family
- Birth children - need to be careful as carers often have other children adopted, blended families/other relationships etc
- Support from support worker
- Unannounced visit - try and time so can see the carers own children
- From application and throughout to keep connected
- WhatsApp messages, cards, emails - to keep informed and offer support around them
- Reality can be very different to what was expecting as being part of a fostering household - can be very difficult for them
- Don't have experience of behaviours being displayed - offer training to help understand
- Birth child strategy in place
- Worker meets with carers own children and had groups but not sustainable as the group was so small and carers own children don't often want to engage - so now hold event 6 monthly to gain their collective view
- Carers talk of wanting more for their own children but then their own children don't come - have their own friends
- Varied ages and events depending on wants, needs at the time
- YP Panel - consider new applicants etc and have carers own children on this also
- Agency - has a group called “we foster too” - lovely idea
- “Children of foster carers” group
- “Children who foster” group
- Also those adopted or on SGO
- SSW is the link and takes the carers own child out every 3 months
- And extra if needs it
- The interaction is recorded on charms and contributes to annual review
- Questions - this is how it feels to live in a fostering family
- Gone on the journey with them - younger when started the experience and build a relationship - the younger children prefer to be involved more than older but know they can talk to the same person if want to
- FC might be against checking in so much - eg checking in with the carers own child school - agencies would not do this beyond the assessment
- Would hope the carers would observe and see their own child and how they were feeling about fostering - and take this on board / and into account
- Annual review - questionnaires child focused
- Discussion re children who leave - and whether we know if carers own children maintain a relationship with foster children that have left - social media etc
- Loss - can be difficult when children leave and no recognition of this - how soon should the agency see the carers own child and allow them to off load
- Maybe encourage the carers child to write to, do a poem, a picture that can be sent or on file for the foster child - need some closure
- Supervision process and talking meaningfully about the carers own child but also where possible seeing them and offering this - how the FC feels if ask to see their child alone - and what if the child is worried how this can be shared with the fc if their own child has not shared
- Feedback forms - extended to wider family - what are your thoughts about your parent fostering and how do you think they have changes / impacted on them over the last 12 mths etc
- Example of an asylum child and denied right to remain and how has got close to carers own child - prep work now underway for this as this is upsetting for all - working alongside the carers own and the foster child to understand together
- Carers own child said “the problem with fostering is you get close to children and then they take them away from you”
- Extended family worried about their parent - so met with them and how they feel they are not protected - how this can be offered
- Discussion re own carers who struggle with fostering - son saying no complaints - but from carers logs it was clear there was concerns
- Own son not being able to go in one mums bedroom - he struggled with this
- Foster children door left open at night (twins sharing a room) - carers own son had to walk past to go to mums room - and would not over fear of repercussions
- Feels restrictive in his own home, boundaries fine but this felt too much
- Therapy sessions arranged for carers own son to work with him re his feelings of fostering
- Space to say its a bit rubbish and feel validated - short term pieces of work about feelings and fostering
- Also sessions to explore further with parents
- What if they see their own child is struggling with fostering - some resign
- Stopped assessment when own children not on board - prepare as much as can but cannot do this fully until faced with having a child living alongside them
- Some carers recognise for themselves and others need help to recognise the timing of fostering
- Friendship groups in the agency
- Discussion re foster children talking in confidence to carers own children - the burden of this and understanding around this
- Grandchildren as regular visitors - examples of allegation from grandchild re the foster child - and caused a rift - the family no longer speak
- The foster carer supported the foster child and remained with them - very difficult situation
- The bond between a grandparent and a grandchild can be strong and can be hard for foster carers
- Supervisions - social relationships, regular visitors to the home, who they are - etc - section on supervision and recorded
- Carers own children can often be the future generation of foster carers and have grown up with great understanding
- Important to invest in relationships and have a duty of care to carers own families
- This might include nephews and nieces etc who are all invited to fun times
- Carers who have family members who go on tom foster poss have more understanding than their own parent when starting out
- Been in a fostering family since 9 yrs, as a young adult became a back up carer - 3 generations of foster carers
- Approved a child who was in fostering and now a foster carer - in mid 20’s
- How much checks are undertaken on extended family members - discussion re if regular visitors and likely to have unsupervised contact with the child
- Delegated responsibilities - families have other people such as an aunt who might take children out for the day - this should be included in the delegated responsibility role if within the child’s interest and child wants this
- Overnights - re dbs - and agreement
- Family experience - common senses approach
- Assessment of nominated carers
