Summary
Catherine Lockett opened the session by questioning the sufficiency of current assessments in understanding the wider fostering family and the meaningful support provided to children of prospective and approved foster families. members shared various strategies for proactively engaging birth (carers own) children, addressing challenges in blended families, observing family dynamics, and supporting children through loss and separation. The key talking points involved developing information guides for birth children, holding informal pre-approval Q&A meetings, using therapeutic interventions, trialing family get-togethers, involving children in agency development, ensuring birth children have quiet study space, and focusing on celebration and support during endings.
Details
- Assessing the Wider Fostering Family: Catherine Lockett opened the session by questioning the sufficiency of current assessments in understanding the wider fostering family, including children residing within the fostering household and other adult members. She highlighted the challenge of running children's groups for prospective foster families due to the shift from group training models like "Skills to Foster" to individual carer approvals, and asked how agencies can meaningfully support children through the preparation process and post-approval.
- Supporting Children and Addressing Challenges in Blended Families: A fostering agency shared their agency's experience, noting that initially things can be problematic for a foster carer's only child, but therapeutic work successfully resolved one such situation. They also described a challenges in a blended family where a 13-year-old child of the carer is struggling with the continuous one-to-one needs of the foster child, leading the agency to use therapists for direct sessions with the birth children. The agency is developing a "birth children information guide" on therapeutic parenting and is considering using the birth daughter from a successful placement as a "champion" to gather insight on improving support for birth children. (maybe need to consider it being support for foster carers children)
- Proactive Engagement with Children Before Approval: An agency discussed an experience where a foster carers own child expressed dissatisfaction in an annual review, prompting them to re-evaluate contact with birth children, especially those in university. This led their agency to start holding informal question-and-answer meetings with birth children of incoming foster carers before approval to build relationships and ensure they are held in mind once the carers are approved. Catherine Lockett suggested using cue cards tailored to the children's age to prepare them for challenges that may accompany a placed child and gaining more of understanding of whether the carers own child might find certain behaviours worrying and why. This will enable positive work with children to help break down their worries.
- Alternative Methods for Children's Participation and Support: A member explained that due to difficulties in maintaining group recruitment post-COVID, their agency is trialing regular family get-togethers and fun days to foster participation and allow staff and therapists to connect with children. They noted that this slow process aims to build the safety needed for children to engage in conversation and meet with the team, particularly acknowledging the potential challenges for adolescents who might find fostering "uncool".
- Involving Children and Young People in Assessment and Development: A member emphasised that support starts in assessment, urging assessors not to be "fearful of doing the harder stuff" with children present, using appropriate language and case studies with the entire family. Her agency refers to them as "children and young people who foster" to include adopted young people and emphasise their importance, and they prioritise communicating that the agency's role is not to find the birth children a friend. They also shared that their children who foster wrote a guide for new children, using their own voice and contemporary references, highlighting their crucial role and involvement in the agency's development.
- Acknowledging the Impact of Fostering on Children's Well-being: A member appreciated the focus on household members' perspectives, noting a case where a foster carer's son reported that while fostering changes lives for children, his own life felt chaotic, lacking peace, and his mother's time was often consumed by the foster girls. Another reinforced the importance of inquiring about the well-being of all household members in supervision, citing an instance where a birth daughter's peer challenges at school were the primary stressor for the foster carer, demonstrating the need for SSWs to support carers own children even with non-fostering related issues.
- Strategies for Ongoing Check-ins and Family Dynamics Observation: Catherine Lockett advocated for more reflective supervision that delves into how the foster carer’s own children are coping and suggested unannounced visits to observe the family dynamics, including all household members, noticing changes in a young person's presentation over time. A member detailed a system where SSWs are expected to speak to all household members every three visits, seeking direct feedback beyond "everybody is fine". They also use light, contemporary communication methods like WhatsApp for informal check-ins and newsletter sharing with teenagers to build rapport.
- Challenges and Solutions Regarding Physical Space and Support for Foster Carers own Children: A member highlighted the need for foster parents to ensure their birth children can study and have quiet time in their own homes, which may require providing outreach or coordinating with schools to adjust schedules for the other children. Catherine Lockett noted the importance of considering the physical space within the home, especially in smaller houses without separate living areas, and mentioned that some agencies use support workers or children's champions to offer time out for both foster children and carers' own children.
- The Importance of Addressing Extended Family Members and Allegations: A member shared a case where a backup carer/adult daughter in the household sent inappropriate text messages to a young person after reaching their limit due to long-term unshared difficulties with noise and disrespectful language, emphasising that allegations can reveal underlying, uncommunicated stress in the household. Catherine Lockett stressed that regular check-ins offer opportunities for household members to express minor concerns before they escalate into significant issues.
- Flexibility in Assessing Family Structure and Resources: A member recounted a challenging application scenario involving a single applicant whose husband had a degenerative illness, where the agency, after initially questioning progression, decided to proceed. He detailed how an in-depth conversation with the applicant and their adult daughter, followed by a Sunday lunchtime visit with the entire extended family, demonstrated the family's openness about illness and death and their strength as a communal resource, prompting a change of mind about the application. Catherine Lockett concluded this story emphasised the value of all family members and relationships.
- Addressing Separation and Loss Safely with Foster Children: A member addressed the risk-averse nature of considering fostering children withpotential separation and loss, suggesting that it's important to support children through these experiences in an inclusive and safe environment, citing a positive example of a child who chose to stay with their terminally ill foster carer. A member planned to take away the need to incorporate the birth children's perspective on the "loss of how life was" into agency assessments, paralleling the loss acknowledged in adoption.
- Supporting Children Through Placement Endings: A member, speaking from their personal experience as a birth child in a fostering family, highlighted the significant impact of loss when a foster child leaves, even in non-breakdown situations. They stressed the importance of providing support to birth children during end-of-placement meetings to process the loss, and mentioned the lack of follow-up support after one placement ending which was significant for them and their siblings. Catherine Lockett suggested methods like encouraging carers own children to write letters or draw pictures for closure and acknowledged the regulatory requirement to know where foster children go next.
- Addressing Confidentiality and Allegations Between Children: Catherine Lockett discussed how foster children often confide in the carers' own children, creating a burden of holding sensitive information, which can be difficult even for adults to manage. She linked this to allegations, noting the devastating impact on young people who may be investigated or face moving out due to a perceived relationship with a foster child.
- Supervising Social Worker Quality and Themed Events: A member expressed concern about the variable "quality and caliber" of supervising social workers, noting that some may only focus on "tick box" requirements rather than demonstrating the passion needed for in-depth work with fostering families, suggesting this as a future discussion topic. A member shared a unique agency practice of hosting an annual dinner with a theme to welcome birth children and their spouses, fostering an informal introduction and inclusive atmosphere.
- The Changing Nature of Social Work and Birth Family Relationships: A member suggested that the nature of the social work job is changing due to turbulence in children's social care, making it different from five to ten years ago, and people need to understand this difference. Catherine Lockett mentioned an interesting concept about whether social work is changing society or society is changing social work, proposing it as a future topic. A member shared a personal example of the supervising social worker's role in maintaining a relationship with the birth family, detailing how they provided support, including cake and listening, after a child moved on, emphasising reflection and celebrating the process of separation and loss.
- Importance of Celebration and Support at Endings: Catherine Lockett praised the idea of celebrating endings in some way, noting the importance of recognising a job well done for all involved. There were further suggestions of having celebratory teas at annual reviews with extended family to reflect on the successful year. A member's story demonstrated celebrating the moment and listening to the birth family as a way to help them learn about separation and loss.
